Monday, November 03, 2008

Lucky Me! (the final draft)

“Am I still alive?” I smelled the ground soil and odor of the grass. When I woke up, I realized that I was lying on the ground close to a drain. I could feel the sand in my eyes and tasted it in my mouth! I hoped that was not shit or tiny insects.

As I look up to the sky, the sun was shining brightly, I winked my eyes, I was lying on the ground, beside me was the gate and on the other side was the drain. In the drain, a motorcycle had fallen down to the earth and the wheel was stirring. “Lucky me,” I wasn’t lying on the hospital bed.

I heard steps coming towards me. An old man and a few mechanics helped me to lift up the motorcycle. It’s Syetul’s motorcycle. What have I done to her motorcycle? There was something wrong with the poor motorbike. Oh no! Something was really wrong with the wheel. It was punctured. What am I supposed to do? I was very worried. I’m sure you must be thinking what Syetul would say. I didn’t know…
Ouch! I felt like my pant was torn because something sharp was pressing my thigh and legs. It was a dry branch of flower trees planted near the drain. Fortunately I wore helmet and my precious head was safe. I was glad I was not fainting or bleeding. To tell you the truth, I got my pants torn. (My underpants too) huhu…I had to cover up. Ida laughed at me and asked me if I was okay. She felt better after listening to my voice. But I could not tell you how worried she was that day. It was like a cursing to her that day. Our first time together went to further town by riding a motorbike.

This accident happened in a blink of eyes. I was started to getting nervous as I discovered that the tyre had punctured and I didn’t know how to replace the new tyre. And also that was not my motorbike. It's Syetul’s motorbike, who had gone back to the village for holiday. I was not supposed to involve her motorcycle with any miscellaneous. I tried to calm myself by smiling and relaxing.

So I recalled back what had happened. It was a sunny morning. Instead of taking bus to town, Ida and I decided to go shopping at YAWATA Supermarket by motorbike. Later we decided to fill in the petrol as it had almost reached the empty level. Carefully, I ride my motorbike to the edge of the road and enter the petrol station area. I saw a few men were washing cars at the gas pump. So I straight away waited for my turn behind a motorcycle. Ida got down from the bike to pay the money.

As the pump man had finished filling in my motorbike oil tanks. Without thinking much, I switched on the bike and pressed the gear to speed. I don't know why, the motorcycle suddenly moved towards the edge of the other side of the petrol station area where there was a long but not too deep drain, bushes and gate.

Oh gosh! What was happening to me! I could not even think to press the brake or grasp the handbrake. I don't know why I just let the motorbike carried away by itself to the end of the edge. I closed my eyes. 'Bang!' A loud crashing sound from motorbike awoke me as I felt like flying away from the bike to the air. Haha. That was it!

Fortunately, that old man was a mechanic. He brought a spare tyre and started to repair the bike. Then, we paid him RM10.00. Shivering with fear I started the journey back to the hostel praying hopefully the motorcycle wouldn’t make trouble again.

What about Syetul? What would she say? She was shocked in despair. She was worried about me; of course I have to pay for the compensation. I apologized and helped her to service her motorbike. This traumatic accident reminds me that death is silence. So please be careful everywhere you go especially when you drive your friend’s vehicle. Love your life. Lucky me…


yagami said...

Good job! You have modified your essay to become clearer. I like when you add "I heard footsteps" the organization of the essay flows very well and I can even imagine it clearly in my mind. Well done! Otsukare sama deshita (thanx for the hardship in Japanese)

Anonymous said...

i think some of ur visual aids do not really help me in relating the picture wif the text. before, i got no problem reading ur draft n i really enjoy it but now i am hardly thinking bout d visual aids, r u trying to convey any hidden message,

for example in d first para, u put a cactus picture (i know u went to cameron before), i wander when u were laying on d ground, did u think it's like lying on cactuses,, but ur description doesn't say so..

but i luv ur story, maybe u can be dr tuah coauthor as ur writing style r quite d same wif him.. CAiiyyyyyyUUkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!